Ten Miles Beyond The City: 69 Ways to leave a lover....

69 Ways to leave a lover....

Published Friday, March 10, 2006 by forgottenmachine | E-mail this post

Found via Kelly, JA Konrath has issued this challenge: Write a 69 word story. Simple? Well, give it a shot and see! Here's mine: * * * * * There are bodies in the Garden. I watched from the shadows, where shadows should never be. Watched as two of my brothers fell. Watched as they spat words at each other, as words should never be. “We dally too long with them….” “But they make music!” Something is there, under the blood and crumpled wings. It glitters, sickly, humanity’s last gift to Heaven. There are bodies at the Gate. * * * * * Took a lot longer then I thought it would!

12 Responses to “69 Ways to leave a lover....”

Kelly on 3/10/2006 01:36:00 PM

That's so awesome, FM. You're, like, a REAL writer, unlike others of us who just blabber on mindlessly in our blogs. I'm always impressed by your way with words. Um, however, could you stop being friends with that OTHER Kelly, because I'm always confused when I come over here and see my name attributed to someone else. Thanks.

(No offense, other Kelly. Honest. I'm just being a dork.)
Fence on 3/10/2006 05:48:00 PM

I thought as much; my earlier, [much more erudite ;) ] comment has been killed by my crappy work connection which seems to be dying randomly again.

Anyways, the previous comment pretty much said: Wow. Wow. That was great. I love how you've managed to create such a powerful scene with so few words.

And I believe I also made some innane comment about calling one of the Kellies Kelly.
But after reading NM's comment on KellyWell.org, maybe we should call this Kelly Ceallaigh? Which'd be kelly in Irish.
Fence on 3/10/2006 05:55:00 PM

I also made some innane comment about calling one of the Kellies Kelly

How loud can you shout Doh?
I'm having no luck with the commenting today :) That should have said that we could call one of the Kellies KellLy
Kelly Parra on 3/11/2006 03:00:00 AM

Well, I think FM calls Kelly Well a nickname that I can't seem to rememeber right now and me just Kelly. But I understand the confusion. My mother shouldn't even have named me Kelly since I'm not Irish. *laughs* Funny, I married an Irishman, huh?

And again, FM, strong images and feeling in such a brief amount of words!!
Carl V. on 3/11/2006 04:35:00 AM

Nicely done! Reminds me a bit of the 100 words stories that were going around awhile back..only that challenge with that was to not reuse any word.
Kelly on 3/11/2006 01:19:00 PM

WAL, it's obvious WHICH Kelly should get the Ceallaigh moniker, don't you think, since Miss Kelly P doesn't seem to crave it. Though she went and married an Irishman, something I didn't think of at the time. Grumble.

Good grief, I guess I should introduce myself. Hi, Kelly! Nice to meet you!
Jugular Bean on 3/13/2006 10:21:00 AM

Wow it's been a while. A new template and all. Interesting idea.
banzai cat on 3/14/2006 08:00:00 AM

Well done indeed. :-) Such vivid images in so few words.

Does this come with a complete story? ;-)
shesawriter on 3/15/2006 01:06:00 AM

Just stopped by to say hi. I like your place. Very sedate and welcoming. :-)

Tanya
mysfit on 3/15/2006 03:35:00 PM

very nice - you even manage to display a sort of build up of tension in so few words - a story even and not just a snapshot - "There are bodies at the Gate.":BEAUTIFUL! (well not in the pretty way - in the imagistically powerful way)

i am currently resisting the urge to count the words - i trust you :)

btw - i dig the new look FM - it's fabu...
Kelly Parra on 3/17/2006 12:26:00 AM

Hello Kelly Well! {waving hand} Good to meet you.
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